Comfort is the Enemy: To Become Your Best Self You Must Learn to Embrace Discomfort

As humans, our natural inclination is to avoid pain, difficulty, and fear. Millennia of evolutionary “safety” mechanisms have been embedded in our genetic code to protect us and ensure our survival. However, it is paradoxical that to truly become the best version of ourselves, we must actively embrace and seek out the very things we instinctively avoid.

Discomfort, uncertainty, physical challenges, and emotional pain are all necessary ingredients for growth, development, and improvement.

For thousands of years, our brains were wired for survival. Avoid pain. Stick with the familiar. Play it safe. Those instincts kept our ancestors alive and served a very important purpose. Yet in today’s climate the truth is simple: comfort kills growth.

The life you want — the best version of you — lives on the other side of discomfort.

The Illusion of Comfort

In modern society, comfort is perceived as a prize. Getting the cushy job. Owning the big house. The “one day I’ll retire and relax” dream. It looks like success from the outside. But in reality, much of that comfort proves to be a trap.

Comfort lulls us into complacency. It dulls ambition. It sedates hunger. Why stand when you can sit? Why learn a new skill when you can stare at your phone? Why speak up when you can simply let others decide for you?

The Comfort Trap

Comfort has a sneaky way of lulling us into complacency. It creates a sense of satisfaction and contentment that often discourages us from stepping outside of our comfort zones. When we’re comfortable, we tend to avoid taking risks, trying new things, and challenging ourselves. We become stagnant, settling for mediocrity instead of pushing the boundaries of what we can actually achieve.

Discomfort: The Catalyst for Growth

If you truly want to improve, change, or grow then YOU MUST get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Discomfort is the forge of growth. Discomfort is what shapes and sharpens you.

I’m a big fan of analogies and metaphors so here’s two examples:

1. Building Muscles — Muscles build through weightlifting via muscle hypertrophy, which is the process of muscle fibers experiencing microscopic tears from the stress of lifting weights. The body then repairs these micro-tears by growing new, stronger, and larger muscle tissue.
2. Forging Diamonds — The phrase “a diamond is forged under pressure” describes the literal geological process of diamond formation and serves as a metaphor for personal growth through adversity. In nature, carbon atoms are subjected to intense heat and pressure deep within the Earth, causing them to crystallize into the extraordinarily hard structure of a diamond. Metaphorically, this emphasizes that significant challenges and difficult circumstances can be necessary to develop strength, character, and true potential in a person

The Path Forward: Actions + Next Steps

• Step Into Uncertainty — Opportunities often live in the unknown. Say yes before you feel 100% ready. Remain open to new opportunities and people. Taking calculated risks often prove worthwhile. Fail, learn, adapt, try again.
• Push Your Body - There is something powerful about pushing yourself physically that you just can’t achieve any other way. Irrespective of your current fitness level, you can always do something that physically challenges you. Do hard things. Set the goal. Go for the walk. Climb the hill. Lift the weight. Train. Sweat. Push. Compete. Physical discomfort builds discipline and grit that carry into every aspect of life.
• Lean Into Social Discomfort - Historically, there were introverts and extroverts, but the reality is most people are ambiverts. Ambiverts typically enjoy other people, but need time alone, and live somewhere in between. Wherever you may find yourself on the Introvert ←> Ambivert ←> Extrovert spectrum, lean into something that is a growth area for you. Speak up in meetings. Introduce yourself to strangers. Focus on listening more and speaking less. Be willing to share an opinion, and let others beat it up a bit. Growth requires exposure, not hiding.
• Embrace Your Emotions - Emotions need to be acknowledged and worked through. They are there for a reason. Don’t numb or avoid them. Face them. Embrace them. But also understand that emotions tend to morph over time. Don’t always trust your first emotion. It’s typically being driven by your fight, flight, or freeze response. Emotions are very important though. Embracing the ability to be honest and vulnerable create resilience and emotional savvy.
• Stay Curious — Most people strive to become a proverbial black belt in their area of expertise. It’s often a badge of pride and rightfully so. However, many people forget the value of being a white belt — learning something new and coming to it with a fresh set of eyes and an open mind. Stay curious. Every new skill has an awkward phase. That’s just the entry price of growth. Pay it.

Final Thought

Comfort feels good in the moment, but ultimately robs you of your true potential. Discomfort feels hard in the moment, but ultimately transforms you in positive ways. The best of the best are always seeking to improve themselves, and that iterative process requires that they get up close and personal with discomfort. That’s the shift that separates those who settle from those who soar.

The only question is: which side will you choose?